Hey, hey, what do ya say?!
Well first off I love you so much momma! I really wish He’d installed phones in heaven!
I forgot to tell ya aunt L. cleaned out your fridge and took it all with us! The next morning R. brewed coffee and left for work and the rest of us sat down for coffee and breakfast! Aunt L. told all of us that G. would not want the food to go to waste so we were gonna eat ‘breakfast with G.’ and tell our favorite memories. When I finally got up she asked where I was going and I popped off “I’m going to watch the humming birds and have ‘coffee with momma’.” While I was just taking in the morning I realized how thankful I was you made me promise to follow aunty and unk’s lead!
So J.E. finally got there and we were outside talking over the days plans! After a bit she got irritated and again stated talking to us was like ‘herding cats’ and flounced inside! No one paid her any attention and it seemed to light her backside! Eventually we went in and J.R. got there and asked where J.E.’s car was and if she’d left! We all looked at each other and unk said ‘maybe she went to G.’s, LET’S GO!’ so we piled into the cars and took off! He always did have an ability to change the ordinary into an adventure! As we zipped down the highway I remembered unk was a speed fiend so we got there in record time!
We surprised J.E. when we walked in! The bundle of papers she was reading turned out to be your will! First impressions said that she was PISSED though I couldn’t tell yet if it was because we were there, or because of what she was reading! So unk asked for the papers and she handed then over! The change in his and aunty’s attitudes after they read your will was stunning! You see before that J.E. was all acting like the boss and all in that oh so pompous way she has! I saw his jaw set and the look he and aunty gave each other and I knew they’d just read what you told me was in your will! That he was ABSOLUTELY in charge and answerable to no one! I remember that convo like it was yesterday and I remember you making me promise to ‘be a good girl and do what my unk and aunty told me to do!’! Honestly I was so comforted at that moment I thanked God for having you start to get me ready years ago! Both you and gr’ma did that and it helped tremendously! We went through everything and found the notes and surprises you left for us! It was quite the treasure hunt and K., J.R., and I were having a blast! J.E. not so much but it was sorta gratifying to watch the whole family blow her off and see her start stewing like gr’ma used to do!
So we ended up in the back room with J.R. looking at the toy box and asking questions and K. looking at your photo albums! K. was asking about the pictures in the album and I was answering her! She loved the old pictures of gr’pa J.E. and you! It was so much fun to tell her the stories behind the pictures! J.R. noticed the initials carved into the toy box and asked about it! I turned and kinda winked at K. and said:
“Do you know how much trouble your dad got into carving those? Gr’ma was still pissed years later telling me about it!”
To see Unk instantly go back into teenager and say:
“But everyone was doing it!”
J.E. looked bent, but J.R., aunty, and K. lost it. I was going for them so I really didn’t care what J.E. thought but honestly, she looked like she swallowed an unsweetened, concentrated lemon! Frankly I was too busy to care much!
Anyway we got done and headed back into SLC. for dinner. J.E. was on slow burn like a pressure cooker! I went out to smoke and when I came in the mayhem had commenced! She was going off about having to come back and empty out your place all by herself and stating she should get paid for the inconvenience of it all! Unk popped of that he was executor and he should get paid for his time to! Unlike J.E. he had a great big smile on his face so I popped off ‘I’ll pay for that!’ Oh Lawdy did she pop a gasket! She was like all up on my shoulder which was hilarious cuz she’s so tiny! I have never ceased to find it funny when a short person gets into my face and tries to intimidate me! It just cracks me up! She was almost spitting spittle everywhere as she attacked like a rabid dog!
“You’re mentally abusive!”
“You called me a snowflake!”
Mom you would have been so proud of me! First those statements were a verbatim quote of A. whom I called a snowflake and told to go melt somewhere else as I didn’t want to clean up a puddle during one of our fights! I didn’t correct her and I didn’t laugh in her face and tell her;
“No I didn’t! I called you a femnazi and bat shit crazy cuz you’re loony as hell!”
“Why didn’t you rent a car?”
I really have no idea where that came from! Yes I could have rented a car but no one asked me why I didn’t! The truth is I couldn’t remember how to get everywhere and with the way it had all changed while I was gone I didn’t want to get lost! Not to mention that I wanted every moment I could get with them cuz I sensed it was the last time! I went out back to smoke cuz I was so angry I was shaking; she and unk went out front where she proceeded to absolutely scream at him! When it all culminated Aunty told me ‘we don’t act that way here anymore!’ I told her I knew that and I hoped she could forgive me and went to smoke and cry! J.E. was in serious need of a spanking and a nap so I had to step before I gave it to her! In the end unk and aunty grabbed me and sat me down for a talk where aunty asked what I thought was wrong with J.E… I responded that I had no idea cuz:
“I live in ALASKA!
I never expected aunty to come back with “unstable”! Honestly I was stunned! Unk asked why I was so irritated and bouncy and I burst out with if I was home I’d smoke a bowl and chill out cuz … FEMALES!!! I was once again stunned when aunty said I think your uncle can help you with that! So after a quick smoke I settled down and began to think again so I got the clean up all set up to suggest to aunty and unk and it was only gonna take one day to pull off! In other words ‘bite me little sister! We don’t need you that much after all!” Quite the let down for one who thought she was critical for the whole operation to commence!
When I got up I told unk what I had found and he looked pleasantly surprised and pleased at the idea of not having to do it all himself! He had it all set up before we left that morning which was seriously exciting! J.E. had left the night before so all of a sudden I was getting rapid fire “I’ve always wanted …?” I did EXACTLY what you said to do and everyone got what they’d always wanted, right down to J.R. getting gr’pa’s big band albums from way back when! Wouldn’t J.R.’s face be awesome if he knew you’d always intended for his husband to get them?! It was just like you said it would be, even though unk was in charge he wanted my impute and asked me about the all little things! Since little sis had left I got to answer like you wanted with no arguments so I told unk I’d pay to have someone clean your place for sale as it needed cleaning but I didn’t have time nor the desire! Needless to say everything started getting done at a record pace!
Sorry it took so long to finish this one! With Thanksgiving, and life, it just all got away from me! I’ll try not to let that happen again!
Love you tons and tons momma
Till next time!
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